hear this question all the time, from our men visitors, "Why Russian
girls want to leave Russia?" Another question is, "Why Russian girls
want to marry European and American men?" or "Why Russian girls want to
marry Canadian and Australian men", or "Why Russian girls want to marry
Spanish men" etc.
Though those questions
seem to be different, the answer to all of the them is just the same:
well, they DON'T!
What we mean is that Russian girls actually do not want to leave Russia
and they do not want to marry Canadian, Mexican, Spanish, French, etc men.
You may ask us then why
there are so many marriage ads of Russian girls seeking men abroad, on
the Internet, seeking men in countries like Canada, USA, Australia and
Europe - yes, this is right, but this doesn't mean Russian girls want to
leave Russia or marry western men.
Russian girls want to
marry honest men and have a normal family and children, and it's not
always possible in Russia for all of them. There is huge demographic
disproportion in Russia with only about 80 males for 100 female. It means
20% of females have no chance to find a husband or be married. This is the
Second reason is the
well-publicized alcohol abuse in Russia by men, which results in poor
health conditions and abusive behavior of men. It is a custom where men
get together in groups after work and get drunk, then go home. The woman
is supposed to look after kids and make a meal for the husband coming home
from work (who often comes home drunk) and if a woman complains, it may
end up in a verbal or physical abuse by the man.
The culture and
demographics are hard to change; we are sure it will change with time, but
this is also the reason why many women decided, after many years of trying
to get married in Russia to family oriented men, to look for a
Russian girls want to
find a loyal man for marriage - this is the purpose, not leaving Russia
or immigration. Leaving Russia will be very hard for her, losing her
family and friends at once and moving into unknown country to start her
life all over, but the cultural standard for a girl to have family
(marriage and children) as her highest priority is so strong, some girls
are brave enough to look into unknown and start looking for a partner
It is a circle:
- There are less males
than females in Russia, and so some girls are destined to be single.
- In Russia, the
cultural paradigm for a woman is to achieve happiness in her family,
having a steady marriage and children - if she does have marriage and
kids, a girl feels left out and unhappy; similar to how a western girl may
feel if she never had a work, as if she is not worthy.
- Since marriage is
such a high value for girls, men are in high demand. They get really
spoiled by choice and beautiful girls trying to please them to either get
married or keep the husband from wondering.
- Russian men get
more and more arrogant with age and start following the cultural norm of
hard drinking with their pals and getting home drunk and abusing a wife.
- Since this behavior
is so ordinary, most girls stay in an abusive marriage as there is not
much chance to re-marry for a
divorced woman with children or if she is
over 30. Most Russian girls get married before the age of 23; by 26 a
girl is considered a spinster if she is not married.
In other words, fine
men in Russia are rare - by a good man we mean a man who doesn't drink,
doesn't sleep around, doesn't violence his wife and is able to hold a
stable job and support his family. In the west, it's the norm and husbands
who behave abusively would be immediately sorted out or left without a
In Russia, men who
drink, sleep around, beat up their wives (about 2,000 wives in Russia are
killed every year by their husbands). Those men are a norm. Some of men
are incapable to hold a job or support their families and the wife has to
have a full-time job and then work the second shift doing all the domestic
chores and looking after children.
Actually most girls
would have never even considered leaving Russia to marry a foreigner if
they could meet good men in Russia and get married to them and have happy
This is the fundamental
difference between Russian girls and Asian girls, as Asian girls
consider immigration as the means to support their families and provide
for their parents and families, and we know husbands of Asian wives have
to send money on monthly basis to support the wife's in Philippines,
Thailand. Our opinion, this is the main reason why most
Asian girls get married
to American and Australian men.
This is totally
different with Russian girls: they get married for themselves, for their
own happiness and future for their children. Russian women get married
to have a happy family for themselves, because this is their highest
value: a Russian girl needs her own family, a husband and children, to
Quotes from the web:
-Today, Russian girls don't marry just for money sake and I have known
many instances wherein after divorce, they have not sought for alimony and
able to earn a decent living based on their skills and not on charity of
- It happens in all countries and Russia is no exception. Moreover, it is
wrong to assume all beautiful Russian girls want foreign husband. Many
have married within the country to Russian men and are happily settled.
A few girls may marry outside but that is their choice and prerogative and
none must have any objections. Moreover, such marriages may culturally
improve ties between countries and over a period, there may be more
harmony between countries than now.